Calgary Couples Therapy & Associates offers Affair, betrayal recovery therapy and counselling services Calgary Couples Therapy & Associates offers Affair, betrayal recovery therapy and counselling services

Affair & Betrayal Recovery

One of the most crushing experiences to a relationship is that of an affair or betrayal.

The pain that is caused by this experience is traumatic. Although it will take time and work you can repair and rebuild your relationship with the right support.

Affairs are not the only form of betrayal in intimate relationships. Betrayals can include many different forms of emotional distrust, hiding things or secrets within the relationship, distrust around being a priority, your partner being there for you, kids, finances, family. etc.

Calgary Couples Therapy & Associates follow Gottman Method Couples Therapy

The pathway our team uses for healing from infidelity is the Gottman  Affair/Betrayal Recovery Method. This can be best described as the three A’s: Atonement, Attunement, and Attachment. The relationship that results from this process is most often a new relationship, one that is stronger and more connected. While the scar of the betrayal may never completely go away, there is an opportunity for renewed trust, commitment, and intimate connection.

During your couples sessions, your struggles and capabilities together will be assessed. This will help you to learn the skills and techniques you need to foster and re-establish trust, safety, and commitment to rebuild your relationship.

You will also have the opportunity for individual sessions that will provide you with time to do critical self-work and self-care. You’ll learn to cultivate the clarity and inner strength you need to once again engage in deep, communicative, loving partnership.

Betrayal Trauma & PTSD

When one’s primary attachment figure is both the source of and the solution to pain and fear in a relationship, it results in a breakdown of the attachment bond and negatively impacts the marriage (Johnson, 2005).

It is normal to experience symptoms such as excessive rumination, hypervigilance, and flashbacks alternating with avoidance and numbing as they are symptoms of PTSD which has been found to be an major impact of experiencing a betrayal.

The contract two people had between them that was supposed to be unbreakable and impermeable has been broken. The betrayed partner finds themselves wondering about who is this person I am with and have the past years all been a lie. You do not have to go through this alone or without tools to repair the unfathomable damage. We gently support and guide both parties through this and help them understand the context of the affair. We do not minimize the damage but we do believe there is a way to navigate through it and rebuild trust again.

Sessions will focus on helping to deal with the shock, helping the partner who had the affair be with their partner through their pain and slowly rebuild trust. The injured partner wants to know if the partner who had the affair is really there for them and often a lot of reassurance and validation is needed. It may be difficult for the partner who had the affair to be emotionally present and we will support them in being present for their partner. Sessions help to deal with these challenges using the Gottman 3 phases trust revival method.

All couples therapy starts with an assessment and then treatment planning. Then you will have the opportunity to learn about the different options moving forward if that is the choice you would both like to make. Some couples know they want to stay together, and others are in a time when they are unsure. After the assessment phase we will facilitate conversations and can discuss whether or not you want to move forward with this approach.

If you are ready to heal and work toward rebuilding your relationship after experiencing the infidelity or other forms of betrayal, please contact us today to set up an appointment.

If you reside outside of Calgary and are in need of Affair recovery support.  Our Director Cece Warren offers a 2 day intensive Affair/Betrayal Recovery Package. Please contact us for more information.  

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