Communication is the glue that holds couples together. When couples have strong, healthy communication they are able to navigate challenges, share joys, and deepen their connection. However, effective communication doesn’t just happen on its own; it requires conscious effort, understanding, and the establishment of tools and systems. 

Healthy Communication Includes;

Active Listening: 

One of the fundamental aspects of effective communication is active listening. It’s about being fully present when your partner speaks, without interrupting or preparing your response. Implement a system where you both take turns speaking and genuinely listening to each other’s thoughts, feelings, and concerns. This practice fosters empathy and demonstrates that you value what your partner has to say.

Regular Check-ins: 

Life’s busy schedules can sometimes cause couples to drift apart. Establish a routine of regular check-ins where you both dedicate time to discuss how you’re feeling, what’s happening in your lives, and any challenges you’re facing. These intentional conversations provide an opportunity to stay connected and address potential issues before they escalate.

Openness and Honesty

A system of openness and honesty is crucial for building trust in your relationship. Create an environment where both of you feel safe expressing your thoughts, even if they are difficult to share. Honesty builds authenticity and helps you navigate conflicts in a healthier manner.

Nonverbal Communication: 

Communication is not limited to words alone. Nonverbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures play a significant role in conveying emotions. Develop a system of awareness for these nonverbal signals, as they can often reveal what words might not express.

Conflict Management 

Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Establish a system for resolving conflicts that involves active listening, empathy, and a focus on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. Remember that it’s not about who’s right or wrong, but about understanding each other’s perspectives.

Face to Face interactions:

In today’s digital age, constant connectivity can sometimes hinder genuine communication. Set aside specific times or spaces for a digital detox, where you both disconnect from screens and focus solely on each other. This system encourages quality face-to-face interaction.

Setting Loving Boundaries 

Healthy communication includes respecting each other’s boundaries. Establish clear guidelines for what is acceptable in conversations and what is not. This could include refraining from name-calling, yelling, or belittling each other. Respect lays the foundation for a harmonious connection.

Empathy and Validation:

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Develop a system of empathy-building activities, such as sharing personal stories, reading books or watching movies together, and discussing characters’ emotions. These activities can enhance your ability to connect with each others world.


Seeking Professional Help: Sometimes, communication challenges can be complex. Implement a system where you both are open to seeking professional help, such as couples therapy. A therapist can provide guidance and techniques tailored to your relationship’s unique dynamics.

Building strong communication systems in your relationship is an investment that pays off in the form of deeper connection, understanding, and resilience. By actively listening, setting up regular check-ins, promoting open and honest conversations, and fostering empathy, you can create a communication-rich environment that stands the test of time. Remember that communication is a skill that requires practice, patience, and a willingness to adapt as your relationship evolves.

Some options for reading/ workbooks are: 

Couples Communication Workbook: A Couple’s Intimacy Workbook With 10 Steps for Conflict Resolution.  

By Monica Travis

Communication in Relationship: The Complete Guide to Finally Build Effective Trust and Improve Empathy in Your Marriage.   

By Amanda Sutton